A Slightly Different Thankgiving Story
by Tiger1
Summary: I was bored on thanksgiving once so I wrote a fan fic with me and my friends having thanksgiving with the Gundam boys. Here, Duo get's high on cider and retels Thanksgiving. Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, I just write fan fics about it. Please R/R!


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A Slightly Different Thanksgiving Story

T'was a Thanksgivin' to remember when Duo was high on cider and he tired to retell Thanksgiving. The G-girls we trying to bake a turkey and as usual, the g-boys were no help (except Quatre). (This takes place at Kelly's house. Where else?)

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Part one: "More importantly, is the turkey ok??"

Quatre walks into the kitchen, finding Stefana staring into the oven.

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Stefana: What's wrong with this turkey?! Why won't it cook?!

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Quatre: Maybe because you only put it in the oven five minutes ago... Turkeys take three to five hours to cook...

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Stefana: WHAT?!?!?! But I'm hungry!! I'm soo, soo hungry!!

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Duo: *walks in the kitchen with a big grin on his face* Wanna know how Thanksgivin' came to be?

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Heero: *walks in behind Duo* No we don't. Is the food ready? We're all hungry out there.

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Duo: I'll tell you anyway! It all started with these little green guys, who came from the clouds. And they made the giant turkeys into smaller turkeys so they could fit in the oven. They made the turkeys smaller so we could cook them and eat them and give thanks to everything that we got, like the turkeys. The green men also gave us gravy and mashed 'tatoes and cranberry stuff and sweet potatoes and...

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Heero: If you don't shut up I will cram a spatula down your throat! Understand?

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Duo: Perfectly! So like I was saying... sweet potatoes and....

Heero picks up a spatula and moves towards Duo. Duo backs up and puts his hand on the hot stovetop.

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Duo: Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!!!!!!!!

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Heero: *smirks* And I didn't even touch him... yet... *puts the spatula down and walks out of the kitchen*

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Duo: Hot! Hot! VERY HOT! *took his hand off the stove and ran around screaming*

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Duo: MY HAND HURTS! IT IS SO FREAKING HOT!! AHHHHHH! AHHHHHH!

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Megan: *walks in* What's all the screaming about? Duo! What happened?!

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Quatre: He put his hand on the hot stove.

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Megan: Again? And what's Stefana doing? Why is she just staring into the oven?

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Quatre: She's hungry. I take it she'll be there for a few hours.

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Megan: Oh. Ok then.

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Duo: *runs out of the kitchen, still screaming* OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! 

Megan and Quatre follow Duo into the living room.

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Tiffany: Duo! What's wrong? What happened?

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Duo: *stops and looks at Tiffany as if nothing were wrong. Then remembers that his hand hurt* Ow! I... OW! Put... OW! My... OW! Hand... OW! On the... OW! Oven... OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!

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Wufei: Stop complaining Maxwell. It's not like you haven't done that before.

Trowa stands up and goes to get the first aid kit.

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Kelly: I'm still hungry over here!!

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Duo: My hand is burnt... again! And all you can think about is your stomach? What kind of a person are you?

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Kelly: A very hungry one!

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Quatre: Kelly. Now is not the time to think about your hunger pains. Duo is hurt.

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Heero: And we're supposed to be surprised because...?

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Kelly: I'm gonna go check on the turkey. *walks into the kitchen* 

Trowa comes back with some burn ointment and a roll of gauze. He hands them to Quatre.

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Duo: Oh no! Your not gonna put that stuff that stings on, are you?? I won't let you! That stuff hurts soo bad!! Never! No! You can't get near me! NOOOOOOOOOO!

Quatre unscrews the cap to the ointment and looks at Duo as if he were only half crazed.

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Megan: Calm down! You should know by know that it only hurts for a little bit!

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Tiffany: Here. I'll do it. *takes the ointment and squeezes some out. She doesn't even get an inch away from Duo before he starts screaming bloody murder*

Just as he takes a breath to start another scream a loud BOOM is heard from the kitchen.

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Megan: Uh oh. I have a feeling that was the turkey.

They all run to the kitchen as the black smoke starts to clear.

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Tiffany: Kelly? Stefana? Are guys ok?

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Duo: More importantly, is the turkey ok??

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Tiffany: Duo!

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Quatre: I have a feeling we're gonna have Chinese for Thanksgiving again.

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Wufei: I'm sick of Chinese.

Stefana comes out of the smoke dragging Kelly behind her.

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Quatre: What happened??

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Stefana: Long story short? Kelly learned a good lesson. Spatulas and toasters don't mix, 'specially when plugged in.

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Tiffany: Is she ok?

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Duo: I said this once and I'm gonna say it again... More importantly, is the turkey ok??

Megan hits Duo upside the head. Quatre goes to inspect the turkey

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Duo: Ow.

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Quatre: I got some bad news, guys. I don't think the turkey made it.

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Duo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! 

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Stefana: Will there ever be a year when we do have turkey for Thanksgivin'?

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Megan: So, it's Chinese?

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Wufei: I'm sick of Chinese.

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Stefana: Me too.

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Tiffany: Let's order a pizza and be done with it.

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Kelly: *stands up and smiles as if nothing happened* I don't like cheese on my pizza. Just pepperonis.

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Duo: We all know you don't like cheese!

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Tiffany: So it's the usual? One cheese, one pepperoni with cheese and one pepperoni without cheese?

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Stefana: Yeah. The usual.

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Duo: Go order the pizza now! Go! Go! Go!

Tiffany goes to the phone and orders a pizza.

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Part two: "Rather entertaining"

All the g-boys and g-girls are sitting around the dinning room table (The kitchen table was covered in soot and everyone was too lazy to clean it) eating their favored pizza.

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Duo: Pass the cider pweese!

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Quatre: That's your 8th glass Duo! 

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Stefana: Yeah! How big is your bladder??

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Duo: *looks blank for a moment as if trying to remember something* That reminds me! I have to go pee! *runs off to the bathroom*

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Kelly: Heero. Pass the cheese-less pizza please.

Heero passes the pizza.

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Kelly: Thanks!

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Heero: Hn.

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Duo: *runs back, sits down and smiles widely* Now I would like more cider pweese!

Tiffany passes him the cider uncertainly.

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Duo: Tankies!

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Wufei: Why do you talk like such a baby, Maxwell?

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Duo: Would it please you if I spoke more sophisticated, Chang Wufei??

Silence...

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Duo: Sarcasm people! Hello! *drinks his glassful of cider*

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Stefana: I knew that!

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Megan: No you didn't.

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Stefana: I know.

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Duo: Hey! Who took the cider from in front of me??

Trowa, who is silently pouring a glass of cider for himself, looks up.

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Duo: Ahhhhhhh! THAT WAS MY CIDER!!! OH MY GOD OF DEATH!! YOUR POURING _MY_ CIDER INTO _YOUR_ CUP!!!

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Quatre: Maybe he's pouring it into _his_ cup because _he_ wants to drink it! Did you ever think of that, genius?

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Duo: *gasps* But... he... can't... drink... _MY_ CIDER!!!!!

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Everyone except Duo: *blink, blink*

Very long silence...

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Stefana: Duo? Not even _I _get that hyper on cider!

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Kelly: Hold on a sec! You called Duo a genius??

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Quatre: I was being sarcastic, Kelly.

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Kelly: Oh.

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Tiffany: Duo... I think you don't need anymore cider...

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Duo: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I NEED CIDER! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE IT AWAY, I TELL YA! NEVER!!

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Heero: *A-hem* Could we just send him to that facility we talked about many times before??

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Stefana, Megan, and Tiffany: No! Heero!

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Kelly: Aww. Why not? He'll be so happy with his other coo-coo friends...

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Stefana: Kelly? Remind me to hurt you after dinner. Ok?

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Kelly: No-k.

Meanwhile, Duo was drinking wildly out of the bottle of cider.

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Wufei: *to Heero and Trowa* Do you think we should stop Maxwell? The hard way, I mean?

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Heero: Yes.

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Trowa: No. *a big grin appears on his face* This is rather entertaining.

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Wufei and Heero: *blink, blink*

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Quatre: *whispers* Ok. Here's the plan. Stefana, Megan and I will hold him down while Kelly and Tiffany get the cider away from him, then hide it. Got it? Good. Go!

And so Stefana, Megan, and Quatre lunge for Duo, pinning him to the ground. Kelly and Tiffany get the almost empty bottle away from Duo (against his struggles). They take the cider and hide it somewhere where Duo would never think to look (on top of the refrigerator).

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Tiffany: Ok. You can let him go. 

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Kelly: Mission accomplished!

Stefana, Megan and Quatre let go of Duo. Meanwhile, Trowa was laughing his head off. Which, for him, is the rarest thing.

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Quatre: *staring at Trowa with huge eyes* Umm... Trowa? Are you ok?

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Trowa: *his laughter fades and he gains his composure* Yes, Quatre, I'm fine. Why do you ask?

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Quatre: I... well... *sighs and shakes his head* Never mind.

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Part three: "This is how it goes"

After dinner, Duo was back to almost himself... whatever that is. They all move to the living room to let their food settle.

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Duo: Gather 'round, y'all! It's time for me to tell you how Thanksgivin' came about.

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Kelly: But we all know that al...

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Stefana: *cuts Kelly off with a sharp whisper* Shush! I wanna see how much he'll ruin the pilgrim and Indian tale.

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Duo: *doesn't notice Kelly or Stefana's comments* This is how it goes! A long time ago, in a land far, far away there lived two little boys named Robin Pan and Peter Hood. He and their families didn't like living in Madrid, California, so they moved to a land called Turkey. They flew far and ran fast to get to Turkey. But once they got there, their eyes practically fell out because of its beauty. They founded the city of Lost Angeless and lived happily ever after. That is, until, a large turkey, named Captain Fryer came to town. Hey, they didn't call it Turkey for no reason! Huge turkeys lived there, and most had bad attitudes. Worst of all was Captain Fryer. Anyway, the village fought hard and brutally, but they finally defeated Captain Fryer. To celebrate, they cooked the turkey and had him for dinner. And to this day we celebrate the defeat of Captain Fryer, although now, the turkeys are much smaller.

Heero, Wufei, and Trowa raise and eyebrow. Tiffany and Quatre fight giggles. And Kelly, Stefana, and Megan are down right laughing hysterically. Duo doesn't understand their reactions. He's expected them to be impressed that he knew so much.

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Heero: May I ask what happened to the little green man theory?

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Duo: *blink, blink* What little green men? Are the Martians attacking again? WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEEEEE!!!!

Kelly, Stefana, and Megan laugh harder. Tiffany and Quatre start laughing uncontrollably, and Trowa's grin returns to his face.

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Wufei: Maxwell! What in the name of Nataku is wrong with you?

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Duo: I'm sorry, I don't understand. Could you repeat the question? *said innocently*

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Heero: That's it! I can't take anymore of this nonsense! *grabs his coat and goes outside*

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Wufei: *lunges for Duo* Naahhhhhhh!!!

Trowa, still with a grin on his face, grabs Wufei by the collar just before he can grab Duo. He drags the Chinese g-boy out side and locks the door behind himself, so Wufei can't get back in. When he gets back to the living room, all but Kelly and Stefana had calmed down.

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Quatre: *trying to calm Kelly* Ok. It's not that funny. You can calm down now.

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Stefana: *gasps for air as she calms herself* My cheeks hurt. I don't think I ever laughed so much in my life!

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Kelly: *now calm* Me either!

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Duo: *still not understanding why they were laughing* I don't get what's so funny. I thought it was a good story!

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Quatre: *trying to reassure a slightly disappointed Duo* It... umm... was a good story.

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Duo: Really?

Stefana, Kelly and Megan snicker.

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Tiffany: It was... uhh... a great story.

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Quatre: *whispers to Tiffany* I wouldn't go _that_ far...

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Duo: *not hearing Quatre's remark* Wanna know how Halloween came to be??

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Everyone except Duo: No!

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Duo: Aww. Why not?

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Quatre: Trowa? I think it's about time we head home, huh?

Trowa nods.

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Quatre: Ok. Megan, Tiffany? Would you like us to drive you home?

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Megan: No thanks. Our moms are picking us up.

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Quatre: Ok. C'mon Duo. Time to go home.

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Duo: Aww! But it's not even midnight! I wanted to through confetti and say "Happy New Year!"

Quatre shakes his head and he and Trowa drag Duo out of Kelly's house while saying their good byes. After they'd left, the four girls sat back down in the living room and sighed.

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Tiffany: Well. Thanksgiving's over. It sure was one I'll remember.

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Kelly: I wonder if we'll have turkey next year?

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Megan: Knowing us, probably not.

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Stefana: I wonder what Duo's version of "How Christmas Came To Be" is?

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Kelly: Dun, dun, duhn!

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The End! ^_^

Note: First off, what kind of idiot leaves Stefana and Kelly alone in a kitchen with a cooking turkey, a plugged-in toaster, and a spatula, you say? ME! That's what kinda person! Second, Duo? High on Cider? Definitely! Why not? Third, Trowa, laughing? All I have to say to that is.... *evil grin* Mwahahahahaha!! Fourth, yes, Wufei, the Chinese g-boy, is sick of Chinese food! And fifth, like my Thanksgivin' stories? Good! If you don't... Captain Fryer will get you!!


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